Honestly, I don't know how to start this entry. There are so many ideas inside my head, and I don't know which one to put first. Right now, I'm quite confused about something that's been with me for the past...more than three years. Yes, more than three years. (I won't tell the exact year, but it's really record breaking...haha...) There's only one person who's been running inside my mind for all these years. And because this person has a very great and big impact on me, it is really hard to forget everything about him. Oh yes, he's a guy.
My bestfriend is really amazed because I still like the person until now. I've known him since gradeschool and now that I'm in college, I still like him. There are a lot of good guys around but I just ignore them because my attention only lies to this person. Even if I say that I'm crushing on Enchong Dee, the pep squad guy in DLSU, the tostillas guy who just left for a vacation in Canada, and one of the basketball players of DLSU, the truth is...my feelings for this guy are still greater and more than them. It's not only the "crush" thing. Like what I said, I like him. I can't say that I love him, though. But he's really special to me.
For more than three years, he doesn't even know, and he doesn't have any idea that I like him. Oh yes, I have attempts to tell him what I feel, but fear always reigns. I don't have the courage to tell him how I feel. I don't want to risk our friendship because of this silly and funny feeling. So, for all these years that we've known each other, I just keep quiet and act as if I don't like him.
My dear friends, honestly, I'm waiting for the time when he would tell me that he likes me too, and then, it would also be my chance to tell him that I like him, but I doubt it. He only likes me as a friend. I am the only one who has special feelings for him...and I'm quite getting tired of feeling this way. Besides, he likes someone else...
They say that when you really like someone, and you want what's best for him/her to be happy, you have to let go. You have to set him/her free. You may be happy, if there will come a time when you and that someone becomes a couple...but isn't it also sad and pathetic when he/she isn't happy with you? Will you still keep him/her even if he's not happy?
Maybe they are right. Maybe, my bestfriend and my aunt are right. I should move on. I shouldn't keep feeling this way towards him. Oh well, he's not the only guy in this world, right? I know, it's hard to forget him, but little by little, I will learn to forget him. He will always be my friend, and he will always be special to me, but I think, this is the right time to set him free. I want him to be happy. Good thing, I don't see him na. Pwede na siguro magsayaw ng ocho-ocho si bestfriend...haha. If we're really meant to be, then let it be. And yes, I feel good. =)
***
*I would like to thank God for making it possible for me to be a Dean's Lister. Thank you.*
